Face bling

I love frameless glasses. No distracting frames. No heavy load on my nose. Easy to clean. Like a cloud hitchhiking betwixt my brows. And from certain angles I could be mistaken for 20/20.

So, when I went for my last eye test, I had left it so long, the new lenses were like an airplane windshield being supported by one of Mum's knitted tea towels.
I had "grown out" of frameless lenses and now I had to decide how I was going to decorate my face.

Me: I quite like how Ryan Gosling looks in glasses, so I'll have those thanks.

Hard- working sales assistant: Yeah. nah

Me: ...

Hard- working sales assistant: Ryan Gosling has... a different shaped face to you.

Apparently, what looks good on one person, I was to bluntly find out, does not belong on all. [1]

I had to find a pair of specs that just told my story. That boldly goes where I haven't been before..., but not too much. And I am on a budget, sooo….

Hard- working sales assistant: Look, here are the rules we follow:

1. Consider the shape of your face.

18- year- old rectangle face is different to your current day hexagon face, so stop holding on to what worked when Elvis was still singing. Cosmo [2] says the shape of the glasses should contrast your face shape. Sharpen the angles of the glasses to soften the face.

It is suggested by Cosmo that the following face shapes would benefit from the following glasses.

  • Square-Shaped Faces — Ovals and Rounded Rectangles
  • Narrow Faces — Taller Frames and Decorative Temples
  • Round Faces — Rectangular Frames and Contrast Bridges
  • Trapezoidal Faces — Half-Rim and Cat Eye Shapes
  • Oval Faces – Top-Heavy Frames and Butterfly Shapes

I mean.., Cosmo!

2. Consider your style.

Are you ready to try a statement, or are you quite happy with function only? Glasses are a commitment for a period of time, so are you ready to live up to the statement you make? Also, will a purple GT stripe go with most of your wardrobe?

3. Consider your features.

Do you want to highlight one characteristic, and distract from another? Do you have a green tail, for instance, and there's nothing wrong with that, but green specs would only draw attention to it?

4. Consider comfort.

Is there pressure on the ears from the arms, or are there indents from the nose thingies.

Me: Nose thingies?

Hard working sales assistant: Yes.

5. Consider Proportion

Edna E Mode. There I said it!

6. Take a chance.

People have to look at those eyes when they're talking to you, what do you want them to see through your glasses?

So, I chose a black, REALLY top heavy frame in a slightly butterfly shape, as suggested, with a thin orange stripe on the inner arm, (going wild in the moment I was), and I have to tell you, while the adjustment to the frame dancing in my peripheral vision drove me spare for a while, I would catch myself in the mirror and think "good choice old chap".

I lost them not long after. Am I too young for a glasses lanyard?

So many people walk out of an optometrist's clinic unsure of what they really think of the, often expensive choice they just made. Take your time. Don't feel pressured because of a busy shop. These things have to sit on your face for a while, so be certain.

And as one hard- working sales assistance once said to me; "If the eyes are the window to the world, it's best to choose the right window frame."

I said "woah", but only to save her feelings.


https://www.merakilane.com/choose-right-glasses-face-shape-4-tips-work/ [1]
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/fashion/advice/a17832/4-tips-for-glasses-by-face/ [2]

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